I just need to talk to someone so maybe talking to my blog would seem legit.
I don't know why, these few days. Something bad would apparently happen, no idea if its bad or what but for me it is bad. I don't know what's up w/ me and everything I do.
Everything I do, just doesn't seem right at all. Everything I do just tends to get messed up.
I need to get my head out of my ass so it would be less fucked up or shits.
I've been putting myself into so much trouble and being such a troublemaker in literally everything.
I just cannot be good at anything, everything.
I don't make you happy but nonetheless make you sad & hurt all the time that I just wonder to myself what the fuck is wrong w/ me.
I hate treating you like this but I just don't seem to know what am I doing. The fact that I'm so useless & never making you happy, who knows I'm such an ass myself also. I hate myself every day of my life for treating you like this.
1. You sure as hell don't deserve all this.
2. You're too good. Too good for me to be treating you like this.
3. I hate myself so much for doing so.
At times like this, I really don't know how to be sorry but just ought to be suicidal.
You don't deserve all this from me, you deserve so much better.
I can't bear seeing you like this & me not knowing anything. I can't bear myself to see you cry for the cause of my stupidity. I can't bear myself to see you feel hurt just because of me also.
I'm such a useless person I can't do anything but to agree.
Again, I sure as hell am sorry but the amount of sorrys I say just don't seem to sound so real anymore. Don't you think so? T__T
If I keep making you hurt & sad, I sure as hell don't deserve you at all. I don't deserve someone so good for treating you like this. Not loving you & not caring enough.
I can go kill myself right away to actually think of that I'm such an ass.
But you need to know, I really do love you for everything.
You just don't seem to be like me, you're a much more better person. As for me, I'm an ass. ASS.
I love you. I ought to prove it before anybody would take my place.
I need to filter my brain before I put myself into shits & just to be stunned to see you walk away one day. I'm just afraid that you wouldn't be able to bear w/ my nonsense I put you through and you'll leave.
But I'll hold on, always will even of you decide to leave.
I am sorry baby. I love you baby.
I beg myself a million times to treat you a whole lot better.
I'm not just saying it, I'm putting real effort into it.
If this time it's just difficult for you to forgive me, I understand but just give me the chance to love you a lot more.
I suck. I'm sorry.